As human beings, we are averse to change. It’s not like we can control most of it, but that’s the way we’re wired. This year was challenging in more ways than one. I had to get used to new realities, be confronted with familiar ones. Step outside my comfort zone – a lot – deal with uncomfortable situations. Manage fear, sadness and, most of all, change. I was forced to change. My perspective, personality, point of view, actions.
This year keeps slapping me in the face. And I’m tired of it. Reaching a new year sounds, for the first time in a long time, a relief. I realized that, halfway through November, when the shit hit the fan and I sort of broke down. This led to arguments with my husband, self-analysis, awareness and even a heartbroken situation. Maybe it’s just me, but I’m ready for 2017 to be over.
I’m trying to find the good in all the bad. The light at the end of the tunnel. The small wins throughout the year. But it kept getting harder and harder. I know it always gets worse before it gets better. Life works that way. Especially when we are confronted with the worst versions of ourselves. Pain leads to improvement and betterness. It helps us realize the path we’ve been taking and, most importantly, how we can change it to become our best selfs.
Let this last week of the year be a way to gain strengths for the new one. Look back and smile because as tough as shit can get, there’s always something better that awaits. Even if you can’t see it right now. And what poetic justice it is, the 31st of December falling on a Sunday. Feeling the jitters all over.