Pun intended and I totally just stole Mean Girl’s punch line. Life is not meant to be peachy and there are a few harsh moments lately that can vouch for that. It’s not necessarily a state of mind because you can’t control it. Rather a phase. I’ve been thinking a lot how, lately, my life has been very weird. Overall, people seem to be changing, my perception of them as well and I’m scared I’m becoming a cynic. I feel like I kept it all together until now, but people in general are so disappointing and that’s not okay.
Sure, we’re all different, the experiences we share are based on our views, attitudes, behaviors, personality and education. I was having a conversation with a friend, living in the land down under, and she’s pretty much going through the same. Not just a bad luck phase, but a realization that people are never what you think they’re going to be. And that, my friends, scares the fuck out of me.
I was raised to respect others opinions and behaviors which, is not always easy, but I do. Whether you want be with a different guy every day of the week or simply haven’t had sex yet, it’s fine by me. As long as it doesn’t interfere with my own life. I honestly respect every opinion, though I may not agree, and always try to explain mine. But lately, I’ve been dealing with people who weren’t taught common sense.
For the purpose of this post, I even looked up common sense on Google. It means good sense and sound judgement in practical matters. What this means is that, in any given social situation, there are a sort of rules we must follow. Like, being invited to dinner and bringing a bottle of wine or desert. Listening to your friends problems and not answering with your own. Saying thank you after someone held the door for you. So on and so forth.
Lately, I’ve been encountering people who just lack basic common sense, manners and social behavior. My husband seems to think it’s because I overly expect from people. Which I didn’t. Pinky swear. I used to not expect that much from people, which I still don’t. But common sense should not be attached to expectations. It should be a thing on its own. And it should be taught in school.
Not to say I don’t have any people around me with it, but it’s sort of becoming extinct. I’m just starting to realize that most people are selfish, worried about their own problems and forget there’s someone on the other side. All of this to say that, I figured out 5 ways you can suck all of the poison out of your life and become the bigger and better person. Especially if you’re constantly being disappointed by others.
Make amends.
Your life should not be about holding grudges but getting pass them. Sure, someone did something to you, you got pissed, confronted them and got it over with. If you have a strong bond – whether family or friends – you’ll get pass it eventually. Don’t ever hold a grudge and blame others, especially if they might not be aware of it – and they probably aren’t.
Be nice.
To be nice you don’t have to overly please others. Saying thank you, paying back, opening a door, helping someone or even listen, is all it takes. It gives me a great deal of satisfaction to sincerely do nice things for others. But never expect the opposite because, more often than not, it doesn’t happen.
Stop talking shit about other people.
This is very high school-y. But everyone still does it. It becomes a vicious cycle and it gives out bad energy. I’m definitely not exempting myself of it, but I always feel bad after. I can’t stand myself after saying something bad about someone, instead of the good ol’ alternative of talking directly to the person. It’s basically because of my fear of confrontation and how nervous I get.
Learn to say no.
And the same goes for saying no. You can read about this here, but one of the biggest problems I have, is related to my inability to say no. I feel like I always have to say yes to everything that comes across and end up being burned. Almost every single time. Part of growing up is learning how to say no to people you don’t want to meet with or host, jobs that are not going to do anything for you and even situations that put you uncomfortable.
Stand up for yourself.
Most people around you are going to feel entitled and deserving of your kindness. Which they will get, especially if you’re like me. All of the above are things I’m definitely working on from now on. Mostly because I’m tired of being stepped on. People end up taking advantage of you and your vulnerability and won’t even say thank you to your face. I don’t recall ever doing that to someone but, if I did, please let me know. I would like to apologize. If standing up for yourself and your dignity means losing a few people along the way, so be it. Their reasons weren’t pure from the beginning.