The more I read blogs and follow bloggers, the more I feel like I fit into the cookie mold. They all talk about thoughts I often have, problems I struggle with and doubts that consume me. I first started a blog (not this one) when I was 14. Just an outlet where I could write all my deepest thoughts. No one knew about it at the time. Eventually, it became a place where my friends would go to know about me and whatever was happening at the time. I never revealed names nor accused anyone. That blog still exists but I ceased writing in it. It stopped making sense.
But I was always an avid reader and follower of blogs. As the years passed, the more I felt related to these people, writing on opposite sides of the computer. They were writing about things I would not share with friends or family. About things I thought were only my own. Issues that you don’t necessarily know how to deal with. Situations that seemed odd. They made me feel less alone – and still do. Reading what they write gives me a sort of solace in all of the mess. I see, in them, myself and I look for answers on how to deal with what happens to me.
I too have morbid thoughts, feel alone, fight anxiety, cry for no good reason, had an eating disorder and am an introvert. Modern day and technology have provided us with a sort of safe space to write down our worries and find people who share them.
This whole bloggers slash blogging thing serves a great purpose. And that’s the main reason I love doing it. It helps me reach out to, otherwise alone people like me, who want to share what they think and feel without necessarily being mocked or ridiculed. I know there are a lot of mean people out there, but I still feel safe to acknowledge the fact that this has some sort of comfort. At least you’re making yourself heard, seen, read. You’re not just throwing words at people, but hoping they actually read it and empathize with it.
That’s why I feel so passionate about this. Why I keep writing every single day. And what makes me come back. Even if it occupies all my time.
I would love to hear about your story and what you have to say.