I can’t remember a time when I didn’t thrive to be perfect. Everything for me is a constant struggle and battle to reach for that feeling of perfection. I’m known for being orderly, dependable and highly detail-oriented which, at the end of the day, takes a lot of work and mental effort. I’m one of those people that, even when my goal is achieved, I immediately feel unsatisfied and want more or start focusing on a different one.
I have a lot of friends that, in their first resumé wrote perfection as being a flaw, in the sense that they always worked towards having the perfect outcome. I have actually never said or wrote that anywhere, but I see now, more than ever, what a mistake it was to write that and that indeed, it is a flaw. Trying to reach perfection in your work, personal life or relationships is a constant struggle with yourself and managing expectations.
I often feel disappointed, irritated and a failure, just because I can’t achieve what I set out for. What I’m learning as I grow up, meet other people and sum experiences is that, trying to be perfect never works for anyone. I hate the feeling I get when I don’t cross off a task on my daily to-do list or when I force myself to workout just because I should or, even, when I don’t feel like cooking for me and M. It’s mentally challenging having to deal with all of it and feeling like you’re never going to achieve anything.
By trying not to be a perfectionist, I’ve been gaining a sense of freedom (…)”
By trying not to be a perfectionist, I’ve been gaining a sense of freedom I never experienced before. It’s counterproductive and intuitive to be thinking about all the things you haven’t done today when you can be focused on the ones you did.
I feel like I’m growing up just by realizing that I cannot control everything that happens around me like a psycho and learn to embrace the process, instead of only focusing on the end results.
I feel like I’m growing up (…)”
Also, and this is the most important for me, my anxiety levels decrease when I’m not focusing on doing it all. If I’m not constantly thinking about what happened, what might happen and focus on what is happening now, I get to experience life when it happens, lowering my anxiety and fear of failure. Ultimately, we have to be kind and nice to ourselves, learn to let things go and focus on achieving our goals with satisfaction and not obsession.