Pretty much any adolescent goes through a jealousy phase when it gets hard to focus on anything else. Some of us get through it, some don’t but most of the time it bites us now and then. It’s impossible not to feel jealous of other people’s body, personality or even life! But I figured we have two types of jealousy: the one that’s good and incentivizes you to push forward and more, and the bad one that makes us cringe inside like we are Gollum from Lord of the Rings.
I can be very self-conscious about my body or what I’m wearing when I’m meeting friends or acquaintances. I leave the apartment feeling all confident but get to a place and start looking around for flaws and what’s wrong with me‘s, because someone else might look better. This is kind of a destructive behavior because it can turn you into this paranoid and over-judging person!
I often find that the problem is not this other target but rather myself and my perception of me at that time. It can be that I’m having a bad day, a rough week, not wanting to work or just haven’t been exercising or taking great care of myself. The important thing is to assess the feeling and make sure you’re not just being unfair – to you and the person you’re judging or feeling jealous of. In those moments of stringing jealousy, try to focus on the things that you feel good about and not the ones that make you feel like the worst person in the world.
This series also includes What’s holding you down: comparing yourself.