I’m having a hard time starting this post because, there’s only one thought in my head. How is it already November? On Saturday, I turned 30. The end of an era as some would say. Birthday posts are always some of my favorite to write. Not only because I get to ponder about life in general, but also, where I am right now. And to be completely honest, I’ve been thinking about it since I turned 29.
By this point, I no longer confine to my very early thoughts of where I would be. With age, we start to understand that our plans mean squat. And you are never where you thought you were going to be. But that’s exactly what life is. Unexpected. Most of my friends have, by now, cross the threshold. I’m one of the last ones in the group. Of course I started to ask around, what does 30 mean to you. The answer is not unanimous.
The general gist of it is exactly what I’m feeling. It’s just a number that does not define how you feel. Sometimes I feel older. Other times, I feel quite young. I don’t want to measure my stage against anyone else’s. Because everyone is in such different phases in life. Some people already have two kids. Others have changed jobs countless times. Others are still finding out what they want to do in life. What 30 is making me realize is that, we put too much pressure on ourselves, based on others.
The beauty of it is, we all have the luxury to find out what works best for us. I pride myself on constantly trying to step away from others and what they are doing (not always with the utmost success). In my personal life especially. Who’s to say what works or not? Last year, my wish was for 29 to be an introspect year. And it really was. I got to know myself better through patience, resilience, travel, frustration, depression. Found so much joy in my relationship and what it brings me every single day. Learned how to take care of friendships that are close to my heart. How to tell the truth, be honest and know that not everything works, but some things do.
In some weird twist, my life got sorted out in the last three weeks. In a way that it never was before. I’m also refraining from making any promises to myself, and trying to live each day as it comes. Which is a great way to combat anxiety and teach myself how mostly everything is out of my control. I kind of love where my life is right now, and just want to remember this feeling. How genuine and grateful it makes me feel.
To all my fellow friends, readers and family in their 30’s, cheers. To life, to growing up, to finding what works for you and taking it day-by-day. Let’s make it count.