For those of you who know me on a personal level, know I’m not a person who shares a lot about personal issues. As I’ve told you here, it wasn’t until I actually broke up with my ex-boyfriend that people knew about it – including my parents. So, when I started dating my husband, back in 2010, we tried to keep it on the low. Not because we were even remotely ashamed, but because we didn’t want to stir water – my group of friends was very tight at that time and some of them could be very judgmental. But our love story was surely rocky.
To be honest, I thought we were just hooking up and it would be over once summer was. M had a very notorious reputation in our small town. I even got asked several times what was I doing with him. After the first night we were together, we ended up talking for hours onto the next day. We were at a music festival and everything felt quite surreal. Mainly because I’ve had a crush on him forever. Always thought he was the cutest guy in our hometown (little did I know about our love story to come). Ha!
I was on my second year, to finish my Master’s Degree, and we started dating. But back then, things weren’t as simple or clear. He was still playing tennis professionally, and traveling every where for long periods of time. Or at least they seemed like it. I honestly thought we weren’t going to last. The first few times he left, it was sort of fine. I still wasn’t used to having a boyfriend again and was so busy with school and friends that time went by quickly. It wasn’t after our first Christmas, New Year’s and few weeks of the new year together, it started hitting me.
A few months later, sometime in May, I had a breakdown. After dropping him off at the airport, I rushed to a friend’s house. She came to join me in my car and I was a mess. Sobbing like a baby and almost unable to speak. I guess that was the time I started falling in love with the guy. Things only became tougher after that.
Later that year, in 2011, he went to play a 2 month long streak of tournaments in South America. It’s hard to imagine, because it wasn’t that long ago, but communications were sleek. We only had Skype and, in some places, it didn’t even work. We had to resort to Facebook and e-mails. I’m a terrible person to be in a long distance relationship, and have had enough on my previous one. So, once again, by myself, I decided to break up with him once he came back home.
By the time I picked him up at the airport, we just wanted to be together and enjoy each others company. I couldn’t do it at that time. But we had a serious conversation about where we were going and if, his decision was to continue to play, I wouldn’t be doing it anymore. And I also didn’t want to be the person standing between him and his life long goals. A very poetic love story, I know.
For several reasons, he stopped playing a month into the new year. And that’s when he got a proposition to move to Dubai and work as a tennis coach. Moving to Dubai was the real test to our relationship. We would either survive it, or ultimately break up. The first few months, I honestly thought we didn’t have what it took. I was paranoid, he was shutting down. I was anxious, he was trying to stay afloat. And we weren’t really a team. But by the time we left Dubai, in the summer of 2013, our relationship was amazing. And we said I love you to each other for the first time – yes, it took us 3 years.
I still recall the day all my insecurities went out the window and we became a real couple. It was unexpected and not at all an ah-ah moment. If just felt good to be with one and other, and things came easily. Not to say we still don’t have struggles, arguments or issues – every couple does. But we became a lot more understanding. M started to listen more. I started to nag him less and we realized that, our relationship is something we have to work on every single day.
It took me a while to understand and see what an incredibly sweet guy he really is. Also because he was hiding inside of a shell. Neither of us was being completely true and that could’ve broken us. But the moment we decided to get real, things started to change and our relationship grew stronger. Still to this day.